Sardar Nuihchiam


Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, "DELIVERED".
2. One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
3.After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,


Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

4.What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
5.WHY WAS SARDAR JEE ARRESTED IN A POLITICAL RALLY. BECOZ HE SAW A GIRL GOING AROUND WITH A BADGE ON HER CHEST WHICH SAID"PRESS" AND SARDAR JEE PRESSED IT
5. 2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!
6.Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now".
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking............
7. Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister
8.How do you make a Sardar laugh on "Saturday"?
Tell him "a joke on Tuesday
9.Sardarji is filling up a job application...........................
He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Addr,& etc.
Then came the column Salary Expected.....................
After much thought he writes: Yes.............................


10.A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"
11.Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up
12.A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....
13.Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: "Take my card."
Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."

14.A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."
15.A drunk was hauled into court.
Mister, the judge began, you've been brought
here for drinking..
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?
16.A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !
17.
Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?
Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.



18.Sardar’s Leave application
Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
in the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day
19.
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Sardar ji: Yes it’s really strange.
I’ve got another pair of the same at home.

20.Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying….
When a person asked what he was doing….
He replied… Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar…!!!
21.
A Teacher lecturing on population –
In India after Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up-
we must find & stop her!.

22.How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ?
Sardarji thinks N thinks hard
&
comes to a conclusion:
I’ll drink poison n let lion eat me.
23.NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST
24.Teacher: “I killed a person”
convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is “u will go to jail”.
25.Sardar proposed a girl……
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u…….
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I’ll marry u next year.
26.Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.
27.Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
28.Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
29.
Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA
Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA

30.Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
31.
1st ever intelligent sardar.
Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?
sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)

32.
A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.
Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

33.Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!
34.
Four guys
1 from Harward:
1 Oxford
1 Texas
&
a Sardar from Pujab university
1 common question:
What is the fastest thing in world?
Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Sardar:It’s loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!

35.
Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
“50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys”
The Sardars Protested.
Next Day News Lagi K
“50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys”
The Sardars Celebrated.

36.  Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
37.Java Interview attended by our Banta Singh
Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... Nothing more
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus dep to.
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
Q. What is the exact diffe rence between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast.
38.1 DAY SANTA N BANTA WERE STANDING AT 5OTH FLOOR OF A BUILDING
A MAN TOLD SANTA UR SON IS DEAD!!!!!!!!
HEARING THIS SARDAR GI JUMPED FROM 50TH FLOOR
AT 35TH HE REALISE I DONT HAVE A SON
AT 20TH HE REALISE I AM NOT MARRIED
AT 3RD HE REALISE "OH sh*t" ,,, I AM BANTA
39.A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with George Bush.
George Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest.
George Bush: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.
George Bush: more…more. ..more… Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
George Bush: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
George Bush : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.
Sardarji became frustrated. He invited George Bush to India. Next year George Bush was in India
Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same…he takes George Bush to a forest.
Sardarji : Dig it. George Bush does.
Sardarji : more…more. …. George Bush goes up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : try to find something. George Bush tries.
Sardarji : Did you get anything?
George Bush : No, there is nothing here.
Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS!!

40.Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM
41.An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
42.sardar `s girlfriend removed all of her clothes and said
" Treat me like your wife" sardar picked up her clothes and started to wash them ............!
43.Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
44.santa wrote the result of his reserch, "If frog losees all its leg it become DEAF"
45.Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
46.Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35
47.1- Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

The Author

C Jambiakmuan is a Delhi based young and dynamic blogger from Zogam